It is normal to want to feel included.
If you are new to a group, it can be normal to want to feel included. In some cases, even after being part of a group for a long time, you may not feel included. You may experience distressing thoughts, emotions and physical sensations when you are in this group. A natural reaction would be to not get involved. When this group is part of your work or family, this may cause issues. Regardless of your coping technique, it can be difficult to fully enjoy life when these feelings are present.
Logosynthesis allows you to change how you feel.
These automatic reactions you experience when you are part of the group can be triggered by personal experiences, cultural attitudes and beliefs. Logosynthesis offers a guided method to allow you to use your reactions to identify and resolve the trigger. When the trigger is gone, you will no longer experience the distressing thoughts, emotions and physical sensations. You will feel calmer in the situation which benefits your health and wellbeing. In many cases, you will be able to have better conversations. You will be better able to address the situation without experiencing distressing reactions.
A case study using Logosynthesis: Mary’s cake story
I participate in a practice group (yes we all can use practice) with a friend and colleague – let’s call her Mary. She expressed that she never really felt included with her sisters. She was feeling triggered because she always felt left out. She didn’t feel jealous but more like not being welcome in her own family.
I asked her to recall a time she felt that way. She recalled having a nice visit with her elderly mother and anticipated being invited to her older sister’s house (as her younger sister and niece were visiting and she hadn’t seen them for ten years). No invitation came and on the long drive back to the city where she lived (early evening), she received a message : “we’re going to have (birthday) cake. Too bad you can’t make it.”. Mary reacted with hurt and frustration and what she was feeling was not affirmed.
We applied the sentences to the trigger of the words. I then asked her to notice what was happening. She felt a little weepy with a pressure around her throat. There was an image of herself as a child around 8 or 9 years of age. She was looking out of her bedroom window, watching her siblings at play in the yard. She was longing to be there but she was excluding herself. We applies the sentences to this image of ‘me looking out of my bedroom window’.
Again I asked her to notice what happened. Now there was an image of herself spitting at her younger sister while dumping milk at the swill house. So we labelled this trigger and applied the sentences. I noticed a smile appear and she now was back to the image of her sisters having cake without her. She laughed and said ‘ok – have a nice time!’. The rejected feeling had disappeared.
Mary gained several insights from this guided change method:
– She was able to gain a broader perspective that there were ways in which she also excludes herself socially from others in her life.
– The feeling of being excluded did not completely dissolve but the trigger was more manageable and she was no longer reactive to such situations.
By Cathy Caswell, Practitioner and Instructor in Logosynthesis®
We can guide you to feel included
Where you are looking for someone to guide you to identify and resolve the triggers or you would like to learn how to use the method for self-coaching, we can help. You can contact us directly and learn more with these resources: