Relationships can be a source of anxiety and stress.
Relationships can be beautiful and fulfilling aspects of our lives, but they can also be a source of anxiety and stress. Relationship anxiety, often characterized by insecurity, fear of rejection, or constant worrying about the future of your partnership, can take a toll on your mental and emotional well-being. Strategies to support your well-being include: self-awareness; open communication; self-care practices; healthy boundaries and professional help.
Logosynthesis® is a coaching and therapy model that can be used to identify and neutralize underlying perceptual triggers to your stress response. When the mental imagery is resolved, the relief of symptoms is immediate and lasting. There can be many layers to anxious patterns and yet, issue by issue, you can feel better. Remember that it’s a journey, and progress takes time, but with dedication and effort, you can find peace and happiness in your relationships.
An example of using Logosynthesis® to relieve relationship anxiety.
The following is an example of using Logosynthesis® to relieve an ongoing anxiety attack related to a very challenging relationship issue.
Lisa’s situation:
Relationship anxiety can feel intense. Relationships can be complicated. You may want to help your partner as they struggle life’s challenges but it is not always safe to do so. In the case of mental health issues and addictions, your partner can behave in a volatile manner and their reactions can lead to life-threatening situations. In an instant, your relationship shifts from ‘working on it’ to an immediate need for an exit strategy.
The anxiety and distress in this situation can feel extremely intense. You may not be able to pinpoint one specific issue that is the most distressing and yet your body is sending signals that it needs relief. It can be hard to isolate and address one specific issue: The image of your partner; the sound of their words; the fantasy about what could have happened; the fantasy about what might happen to your partner if you leave; or the belief that you are not financially secure to leave the situation.
This is the situation that Lisa found herself in and we used the Logosynthesis® Basic Procedure to provide relief. I knew that she had experienced a crisis in her relationship with her partner, to the degree that 911 was called by a friend and the police were involved in removing her from the situation. She had spent the past week with family and was now faced with returning home to pick up the pieces. Her partner was still around and wanting to work things out while mental health professionals were advising her to cut contact. The level of anxiety was extremely intense. Lisa had used Logosynthesis® in the past and knew that the processing during the sentences could be intense and yet she trusted the process because she had experienced the resulting calm.
Lisa connects with the distress:
As we sat together, I was quiet. I knew there were a lot of issues but I let Lisa speak. “This anxiety is overwhelming. I can’t breathe.”
I allowed her to focus on the physical sensations and then guided her to identify the emotions.
“Anxious. Panicked. Scared. So anxious.”
Mixed with the emotions, she describe some of the thoughts she was experiencing. As she spoke, she described what this anxiety looked like: “I see white out of this corner of my eye. It is a shaky white. And there is a golden rod.”
“Is it a white light?” I ask.
“No. It’s more like a white path. It’s all shaky. And there is a golden rod.”
Lisa processes a mental image:
I don’t ask further. I offer the three sentences of the Logosynthesis® Basic Procedure, allowing long processing pauses. It is clearly evident that the processing pauses are very uncomfortable for her. I am close to her so that she knows I am there.
“Let the energy shift. Let the words do the work. Trust the process.” were soft, gentle words to stay with her. I offered her a drink of water after each sentence.
As the third sentence worked, she described that her hands felt numb and she could feel the energy in her knees. Then she noticed it going down to her feet.
“Let the energy shift. Let it leave through your hands and your feet.” I offered.
I could visibly see her body shift.
“The white path is turning to grey. It’s not as shaky.”
Pause.
Assessing what shifted:
“The golden rod is now more like a golden field that I see out of the corner of my eye.”
“The field is sparkling. I see your eyes sparkling. Yes, I can see your eyes. I can see you.”
“I don’t know who I am.”
My response: “Is that true, that you don’t know who you are?”
“No. That’s not right. People tell me that I don’t know who I am. People say so many unkind words. I can hear their unkind words.”
Another cycle of Logosynthesis:
I offer the sentences of the Logosynthesis® Basic Procedure on the “sound of the unkind words”.
Lisa’s whole body relaxes. Her words are strong. She smiles a beautiful smile.
I remind her of the importance of boundaries for safety, both from the unkind words and imposing actions.
I ask her to repeat after me: “I release him with love.”
Once more: “I release him with love.”
Reassessing what shifts:
From this position, Lisa is now better able to enforce her boundaries and make difficult decisions to protect her safety and to shine her beautiful, sparkling light of love in the world, especially for the many people who love her.
This will be one step in her journey. There will be more layers. And yet it is an important step to make decisions with more clarity and presence at a key time in her life.