I don’t like to lose my cool. When life gets busy and demanding, I have been known to lose my cool. It is not something that I like to admit but I notice it in the tone of my voice, the tension in my jaw and the squinting of my eyes. I get in a reactive mode and in the moment, my concern is not about the feelings of others but rather that others pay attention to me. And although … Read More
One photo has the power to spark very different reactions in people. My reactions are based on my experiences and my beliefs, which are part of the family and the community in which I live. One photo can feel fun and playful to one person and yet trigger very raw feelings of distress in another. My work is to resolve the perceptions that trigger my reactions so that I can have a higher level of compassion to support others to … Read More
Our frame of reference is how we approach the world. Frame of reference is defined as ‘a set of ideas, conditions, or assumptions that determine how something will be approached, perceived, or understood.’ (Merriam-Webster, 2019) Each of us has a unique frame of reference that is embedded in our culture, education and experiences. It provides us with a structure to make sense of the multitude of stimuli that constantly bombards our senses. Dismiss. Our senses perceive external stimuli. When this … Read More
Growth comes from being able to resolve two conflicting truths. Our reactions provide us with information that allows us to resolve our frozen perceptions, also known as our beliefs. Redefining Truth. Our simple definition for ‘truth’ as a fact or reality is closed, exclusive and reactive. It does not support growth, inclusiveness or creativity. According to Merriam-Webster, an additional definition is a judgment or idea that is true or accepted as true. Judgment is defined as a formal utterance of … Read More
Rational explanations do not explain current leadership behaviour. Given the pace of change and the increasing pressure of demands, leaders at all levels are responding based on their instinct, beliefs and attitudes. When pressure is applied to retrieve rational explanations, perceptions are triggered that ignite inflammatory thoughts and emotions. Policies are put in place to correct and prevent, yet policies rely on rational thought to be effective. We push down irrational responses and yet the increased pressure fuels a higher … Read More
On this 100th Anniversary of Armistice Day, we are moved to remember. Each in our own way. Each with our own stories. Each with our own past. What we know is that somewhere in all of the fighting was a desire for peace and calm for our families and future generations. And as we now stand here on November 11, 2018, the world is changing so rapidly that we struggle to feel this desired peace and calm. This morning, I … Read More
Recognizing our natural reactions. Trauma. My natural reaction to the word is to close in, back away and shut up. It is not comfortable for me to talk about suffering and I don’t like to talk about things that are not comfortable. I was born into a culture and a family where we didn’t spend a lot of time talking about our emotions or our reactions. I learned to be resilient. I handed my suffering to God and moved on … Read More
Fear is a derailer: When we ask ‘Is fear real power?’, some may respond with a ‘Yes’ because it triggers a response and it drives action. But fear relates more closely to force and to ‘power over others’. Fear relies on position and authority to trigger reactions in others rather than holding space for others to generate creative thought. Fear is a derailer! Rather than building on the collective strengths of individuals by fostering collaboration, it explodes, divides and destroys. In … Read More
Why improve productivity? Improving productivity allows us to achieve more with less. We often think of this as achieving more financial benefit with less of the organization’s financial resources. There is also great opportunity to achieve more with less of our personal resources. Think for a moment of the time and/or energy that goes in to building our personal resources: exercise; healthy eating; sleep and others. Significant energy expenditure in order to build our personal resources to have energy available … Read More
What if we can relieve our distress rather than have to learn to live with it? Think about this for a moment. We live our life and events happen. We react with a wide range of emotion, depending on the nature of the event. Distress is a combination of emotions, sensations and thoughts that result in a feeling of discomfort. We may notice that we get stuck in habitual reactive patterns as a result of this distress. The symptoms can … Read More