How to not lose my cool.

I don’t like to lose my cool. I have been known to lose my cool when life gets busy and demands are urgent. It is not something that I like to admit but I notice it in the tone of my voice, the tension in my jaw and the squinting of my eyes. I get in a reactive mode and in the moment, my concern is not about the feelings of others but rather that others pay attention to me. … Read More

One Photo – Multiple Reactions

One photo has the power to spark very different reactions in people. My reactions are based on my experiences and my beliefs, which are part of the family and the community in which I live.  One photo can feel fun and playful to one person and yet trigger very raw feelings of distress in another. My work is to resolve the sensory perceptions or mental imagery that trigger my reactions so that I can have a higher level of compassion … Read More

Feeling Safe in a Chaotic World.

Feeling safe influences how I react in my world. I perform my best when I feel safe. I make better choices when I feel safe. And I am able to I enjoy life most when I feel safe. Personally, I recognize that heights, black ice and speed elicit a nervous reaction. I know that I can relate the feelings to past experiences. These ‘unsafe’ feelings are triggered by memories. I also recognize that stepping outside of my family norms triggers … Read More

Expanding Our Frame of Reference

Our frame of reference is how we approach the world. Frame of reference is defined as ‘a set of ideas, conditions, or assumptions that determine how something will be approached, perceived, or understood.’ (Merriam-Webster, 2019)  Each of us has a unique frame of reference that is embedded in our culture, education and experiences. This provides us with a structure to make sense of the multitude of stimuli that constantly bombards our senses. Dismiss. Our senses perceive external stimuli. We dismiss … Read More

Two Truths Call For Growth.

Growth comes from being able to resolve two conflicting truths. Our reactions provide us with information that allows us to resolve our frozen perceptions, also known as our beliefs. Redefining Truth. Our simple definition for ‘truth’ as a fact or reality is closed, exclusive and reactive. It does not support growth, inclusiveness or creativity. According to Merriam-Webster, an additional definition is a judgment or idea that is true or accepted as true.  Judgment is defined as a formal utterance of … Read More

Embrace Irrational.

Rational explanations do not explain current leadership behaviour. Given the pace of change and the increasing pressure of demands, leaders at all levels are responding based on their instinct, beliefs and attitudes. When pressure is applied to retrieve rational explanations, perceptions are triggered that ignite inflammatory thoughts and emotions. Policies are put in place to correct and prevent, yet policies rely on rational thought to be effective. We push down irrational responses and yet the increased pressure fuels a higher … Read More

Peace and calm.

In a changing world, we can struggle to feel peace and calm On this 100th Anniversary of Armistice Day, we are moved to remember. Each of us in our own way, with our own stories and also, with our own past. What we know is that somewhere in all of the fighting was a desire for peace and calm for our families and future generations. And as we now stand here on November 11, 2018, the world is changing so … Read More

Learning how to heal trauma.

Recognizing our natural reactions. Trauma. My natural reaction to the word is to close in, back away and shut up. It is not comfortable for me to talk about suffering and I don’t like to talk about things that are not comfortable. I was born into a culture and a family where we didn’t spend a lot of time talking about our emotions or our reactions. And so, I learned to be resilient. I handed my suffering to God and … Read More

Is fear real power?

“Real power is, I don’t even want to use the word: ‘Fear.’” Presidential Candidate Donald J. Trump in an interview with Bill Woodward and Robert Costa, March 31, 2016 Fear is a derailer ‘Is fear real power?’ Certainly many will respond with a ‘Yes’ because it triggers a response and it drives action. But fear simply implies ‘power over others’. Fear relies on position and authority to trigger reactions in others. Generating this emotion does not allow space for others … Read More

How to improve productivity? Resolve reactions to the word ‘should’.

Why improve productivity? Improving productivity allows us to achieve more with less. We often think of this as achieving more financial benefit with less of the organization’s financial resources.  There is also great opportunity to achieve more with less of our personal resources. Think for a moment of the time and/or energy that goes in to building our personal resources: exercise; healthy eating; sleep and others. We work hard to have energy available to spend on work. In turn, this … Read More

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