Feeling safe influences how I react in my world.
I perform my best when I feel safe. I make better choices when I feel safe. And I am able to I enjoy life most when I feel safe.
Personally, I recognize that heights, black ice and speed elicit a nervous reaction. I know that I can relate the feelings to past experiences. These ‘unsafe’ feelings are triggered by memories.
I also recognize that stepping outside of my family norms triggers me to pull back. This reaction of ‘pulling back’ is based on a reinforced system of beliefs and values.
I recognize that being a mother can make me ‘passionate’. This may also be termed as ‘intense reactions’. I know that this is based on a strong desire to not mess up this role.
When I am not feeling safe in these situations, my reactions take charge and derail my decisions.
Overall, I feel safe. I am blessed to have parents who provided a strong sense of safety for me and my siblings. The container – my family – in which I grew up felt safe. My family provided the boundaries to protect and provided the space to grow. I observed and modelled my parents and I recognize that their support provided me with a great sense of freedom and confidence to explore the world.
Creating safety in a chaotic world begins with me.
I now recognize that throughout my corporate career, I have focused considerable energy on the belief that leaders should be like my father – knowledgeable, trusting, hard-working. I expected that they would provide boundaries to protect and space to grow. Also, I demanded this for our team. My reactions when this was not provided did not support a safe environment.
It was only when I started training Logosynthesis, an innovative psychotherapeutic and coaching model, that I was able to understand the dilemma. The more I fought the situation, the more I triggered those around me to react. As I shifted my focus from convincing others that they needed to change to resolving my own reactive behaviours, I noticed a shift. I did not withdraw from what was important to me but rather I was able to make better choices to support the work with compassion.
I view my work in two progressive steps:
Step one: To resolve what triggers me to react so I dont create chaos in the world around me.
Step two: To provide a sense of calm so that others feel safe to resolve their triggers.
It is difficult to comprehend the impact of the work without using the technique but the results are profound. Creating safety in a chaotic world starts from within.
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