We all react.
I have surrounded myself with great, intelligent men. I consider them my peers, I value their insight and I rely on their counsel. Yet they frustrate me with their decisiveness and their different perspectives. I react. In turn, they react to my impatience and frustration – sometimes with avoidance, sometimes with frustration. Bottom line – we don’t maximize our effectiveness. Through my work with Logosynthesis, I have come to appreciate that the exercise is for me to let go of my reactions. My task is not to change them to please me. Rather than building up my strength to fix things, I recognize that if I can let go of the triggers to my reactions, I am better able to create a space for more productive conversations and better choices. This has been a challenging realization but it has a profound effect.
Why is letting go and neutralizing reactions so important?
- We react to events in our environment with a stress response. The beliefs, memories and fantasies that we have programmed through our culture and our experiences trigger these reactions.
- Others sense our reactions through tone, posture and other non-verbal cues. Our energy initiates their stress response.
- Reactive behaviour results in heightened urgency, closed thinking and narrow focus. It does not allow for the important, expansive and broad focus that is required for maximum effectiveness.
- As we increase diversity in our communities, we increase number and intensity of the triggers for a stress response because the environment no longer matches our programmed beliefs.
Regardless of gender, if we can identify the triggers that cause us to react, we can then apply techniques to neutralize our reactions. As we improve our individual response, we can create an environment that is less likely to trigger a stress response in others.
How do I neutralize my reactions?
The triggers that cause us to react reside in our energetic field. I have discovered that Logosynthesis is a highly effective technique that locates the energetic triggers and then uses the power of words to shift this energy. As the energy is released, the reaction is neutralized going forward. The technique is fast and effective and can be learned for self-coaching.
As leaders, we can take steps to create a safe environment by encouraging everyone to become more aware of their reactions and take steps to neutralize their response to create a space for better choices. We need to work on our own reactions first – regardless of gender.