Conflict: Reaction to Resolution

Most conflicts don’t get stuck in facts but in the energy bound in beliefs. They are often ongoing tensions where each side is convinced they are right. When the stakes feel high, letting go can feel like losing. In these moments, conflict becomes less about the issue itself and more about what it represents. Control. Safety. Identity. Being heard. And that’s where things escalate. While win-win negotiation models emphasize trust, active listening, and shared values, those qualities are often the … Read More

When Control Backfires: How Stress Reactions Derail Leadership and Parenting

Many adults in leadership and parenting roles rely on control to feel responsible for safety and success. Whether we’re leading a team, running a business, or raising children, we feel accountable for the well-being of others. When challenges arise, we naturally step in to fix problems, protect people, and restore stability. In these roles, it is normal to fall into automatic patterned behaviours to control situations and get things back on track. And yet many of us struggle to see … Read More

Why Working Harder In Times Of Change Can Be Costly.

Working harder in times of change In the midst of change and uncertainty, a natural stress reaction is to work harder. Think more. Do more. Control more. It feels responsible, productive, and even strong. But especially in these times, working harder can subtly derail your results. Change activates automatic stress reactions. Without realizing it, you shift from creative responses to survival reactions. Calm is replaced with urgency. Grounded leadership is replaced with pressure-driven action. You may lack trust in others … Read More

Firm but Kind in a Tumultuous World

Resonating with “Firm But Kind” In 2007, the phrase “firm but kind” first caught my attention through a parenting book titled Negotiation Generation: Take Back Your Parental Authority Without Punishment by Lynne Reeves Griffin. The words resonated immediately. They described a way of being that felt both strong and compassionate. I wanted to be that parent. Yet in everyday life, especially in the busyness of family life, living “firm but kind” was far more difficult than understanding it. I was … Read More

A new approach to holiday stress relief.

Holiday stress isn’t really about the holidays. We often assume the holidays are stressful because of the busyness — the gatherings, the timelines, the planning. But it’s rarely the season itself that overwhelms us. Instead, the holidays wake up old memories, beliefs, and wishes that shape how we feel and react. Maybe you want everything to be perfect.Maybe you feel pressure to show up for everyone.Maybe family time feels complicated, even when you care deeply about the people involved. Most … Read More

Caregiving: Joy and Burden

A Lesson from Vienna This spring, I visited a cousin, Father Peter van Meijl, who is a priest at Michaelerkirche, a beautiful church in the heart of Vienna. He said something that stayed with me: “Everything in life is a joy and a burden.” He explained how this elegant church, with the largest baroque organ in Vienna, brings joy to so many. People come from all over the world to visit. It’s a joy. And it’s a burden. There’s a … Read More

Beyond Mindfulness: Shifting Memories to Ease Stress and Unlock Potential

Mindfulness helps ease stress Mindfulness has become a cornerstone of modern stress management. From corporate wellness programs to mental health apps, we’re encouraged to slow down, observe our thoughts, and stay present. These practices can help us feel calmer, more aware, and better able to cope with daily challenges. Mindfulness has earned its place as a powerful tool for modern living. By learning to focus attention on the present moment, we can step out of automatic reactions and relieve stress. … Read More

Mental Health in Times of Crisis

Going Beyond the Brain to Support the Whole Human October 10th is World Mental Health Day, and this year’s theme is “Access to Services—Mental Health in Catastrophes and Emergencies.” It’s an important reminder that when disasters strike—whether war, natural disaster, or personal crisis—mental health support is just as essential as food, shelter, and physical care. And yet, when we speak of mental health, the meaning often gets blurred. Many people equate mental with the head—thinking, brain chemistry, or cognitive strategies. … Read More

How to Release Rage for Healthier Living

We live in a world where our beliefs are constantly being challenged. Social media, workplace discussions, and even family gatherings can spark debates that highlight differences in opinions and values. Unlike past generations, most of us no longer live in communities where everyone shares the same cultural attitudes and beliefs. When beliefs that matter deeply to us are challenged, questioned, or dismissed, our reactions can be strong. Anger flares, sometimes erupting as rage. Why Rage Gets Stuck This reactive response … Read More

10 Hidden Beliefs That Keep You Stuck in Stress

Are you feeling stuck in stress? We often think stress comes from deadlines, conflicts, or the never-ending to-do list. These events may trigger underlying stressors—patterns rooted in memories and beliefs. This helps explain why we all react differently in similar situations. We now know that we can identify and shift these underlying stressors to relieve old patterns of reaction. If this feels unfamiliar or confusing, that’s completely normal—most of us have been taught to look only at the world around … Read More

1 2 3 4 13